Across the Moors
by janeeyre54
Summary: Katniss Everdeen is a young governess employed by Peeta Mellark. They are drawn to each other and connected in a unique way, but he has a secret.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the Hunger Games, nor Jane Eyre, except for the dog-eared copy I have read 12 times. Enjoy!

Prompt: Jane Eyre _What if hijacked Peeta were locked in the attic?_

It had been just a few days ago that she had been wandering, trying to escape the loveless offer that Darius had made for her to marry him and go to India as a missionary. He was a good man, so good, but she did not love him. There was only one man she loved, would ever love and she had lost him. They had taken him away. But now, there she was on her beloved moor and it seamed to her that she heard him calling her name, "Katniss! Katniss!", with such excruciating desperation, such wild pain. Her heart raced as she cried "I'm coming! Wait for me!" She left for Thornfield as soon as she possibly could. She knew she must get to him, to protect him from whatever threatened to take him even farther away from her.

Since then it seemed she was on an endless road back to Thornfield. Thornfiled held not only Mr. Mellark, but also a close knit family of servants: Portia, the housekeeper who had been with Mellark forever it seemed; Cinna, the manservant; Lizette, the fox-faced little French maid who spent much of her time with Primrose; Sae, the cook and Haymitch, whose job was quite unclear, but who seemed to lurk in the upper apartments and was almost always in a constant state of drink. When she left last time it was because she discovered that Her Mr. Peeta Mellark, who had treated her as an equal, who had not trampled on her fiery spirit, who had professed his love for her and asked her to marry him, had deceived her to the point where she could no longer stay at Thornfield.

Katniss Everdeen had at that time been employed for approximately nine months as the governess for Mr. Mellark's ward, Primrose, whom she had grown to love like a little sister. She had been hired in response to an advertisement set by Portia in a Yorkshire paper. At the time she read the advertisement, she was teaching at the once infamous Panem School for girls, an orphanage. She had suffered greatly in her younger life, but was dedicated to her students and well loved by them. She had no family and no money to speak of. Yet she yearned to be free.

When she came to Thornfield Hall, she felt more freedom than she ever had in her young life. She could come and go as she liked on the grounds and even walked among the wild moors surrounding them. The moors seemed to call to her with their wild beauty. But more intriguing that the moors, was the master of the hall. Peeta Mellark often called her to his study, where they would engage in conversations on many topics. Katniss, unlike many women of her time, had an insatiable hunger for knowledge and loved to read. She and Mr. Mellark would talk for hours and he even encouraged her to speak plainly to him in all her opinions. She found she looked forward to those sessions with her employer. During that time, Katniss had often been awakened in the night by ferocious screams and loud noises. The mornings after such mysterious happenings no one would be able to explain the events and Peeta Mellark would appear to have left in the night. She feared something evil had happened to him, something other worldly. Still, her fears were always abated upon his return, which also seemed to happen as strangely as his disappearances did.

She had been much perplexed then, not just by the strange comings and goings, but by the presence of the very beautiful Miss Glimmer Ingram. Tall and robust, with golden hair and sparkling eyes, radiant gowns and jewels, Miss Ingram seemed to captivate a room upon her entrance. She was also haughty and proud, never giving a second thought to comments made in Katniss' presence regarding her disfavorable opinion of governesses. Cruelly she flirted and hung all over Mr. Mellark, constantly branding him as her own. For his part, he did not seem to mind the attentions of this shallow, golden creature and in fact gave his own style of flirtation in return. He also commanded Katniss be present at every gathering, forcing her to observe the cat and mouse game till she thought she would scream with the injustice of it all.

But there were many chances for small conversations just between Peeta and Katniss. When she had almost given up hope that she be free from enduring the scene made by Miss Ingram, there was another episode of loud noises at night, waking the guests and causing confusion. Peeta was gone and, as Portia had explained; called on an emergency to see to his ailing brother in London. So the fashionable guests left and Katniss walked the grounds for days, waiting and worried for her mysterious master.

Not only was she worried for him, but she was worried for her own poor heart. She realized, after months of denial even to herself, that she was in love with Peeta. Despite the years of being an orphan and an outcast, from which she had built thick walls around her heart to protect it, she could not turn away from the incredible connection she felt with Peeta. Yes, he was often moody and mysterious, with a shaggy mane of yellow hair and stocky build. But he had piercing blue eyes and an uncanny ability to ask her questions that looked right into her soul, yet always waited for her answer, despite what she felt was her inability to be good with words. She felt truly understood by him and she saw in him an innate goodness and deep sorrow. It seemed impossible to reconcile that beautiful soul of his with the superficial world of Glimmer Ingram. How could she stay on if he married her? She could not.

So lost in her thoughts she was, that she did not even see Peeta as he came around the corner of the garden. Nearly crashing into him, she exclaimed, "Mr. Mellark! You've returned! Thank heaven!" He held her arms to steady her, a smile reaching his mouth for just a second, until his brow became furrowed and he looked to the ground, releasing a gigantic sigh.

" Come sit with me Katniss. I must discuss something with you." They walked together and sat beneath an old oak. "We've been good friends, haven't we Katniss?"

"Yes, sir."

"It's difficult, isn't it when friends must part."

"Must we part, sir"

"I'm afraid so." He paused, looking exhausted in both body and spirit. "You are so very close to me, Katniss, and to Primrose. It's as if we were connected by some string, attached to each of our ribcage. When you leave me, I fear it shall break and I will begin to bleed inwardly. But you, you are young and strong. You will go on without me..."

Her fire would no longer be contained. She stood up abruptly. "How can you imagine that? How do you think I will be able to go back to my old like without you? I love Thornfield! I have lived a full life here. I have not lived in fear. I have not been trampled on! I have been treated as an equal – you have treated me as an equal! I have never known that two people could be so close as you and I, exchanging thoughts, hopes and dreams. I have spent my life trying to not need anyone, and now you say I must leave you?"

"Then don't leave me, Katniss!" He rose and grabbed her arms, drawing her close.

"I Must, sir! You will have a wife soon." Hot tears burned her eyes and she gritted her teeth to keep them at bay.

He held her still, "A wife? Who will be my wife?"

"Glimmer Ingram of course! Do you think me a machine that I could watch you marry her? Watch her send Prim away to some beastly school? Do you think that because I am poor, obscure, plain and little that I have no heart? No soul? I tell you now, my soul speaks to yours, not my flesh. I have a much heart as you and as much soul! And if God had granted me beauty and wealth, I would make it as hard for you to leave me as it is for me to leave you!"

He held her still and closer, "Again I say, don't leave me Katniss, ever. Stay with me, marry me, grow old with me. I have never known another woman as beautiful as you. From the first day I saw you I knew you would do me good. And soon after I knew I wanted to share my life with you..."

"But what of all the attentions of Glimmer Ingram?"

"Glimmer Ingram is the machine. You are my firebird! Your passion, your sense of justice, your loving heart shine through your silver eyes as if touched by Athena herself! You, Katniss are my heart's desire. Marry me?"

Katniss stood in his arms, nearly feeling as if she could collapse. She was his heart's desire? Could she believe it? Could it possibly be true? She said nothing but gazed at him with her mouth open, tears running down her cheeks now. He raised his thumb to gently wipe them away from her cheeks.

"Are you truly in earnest, sir?"

"Call me by my name. Call me Peeta."

"Peeta, do you love me?"

"Yes! By all that is holy and unholy, I LOVE YOU! Will youmarry me?"

"Then yes, Peeta, I will marry you." She threw her small arms around his mighty neck. His lips crashed into hers and his breath was hot. Again he kissed her and again, embracing her as if he would make their spines become one. Holding her head and chestnut hair as gently as a babe may be cradled with love.

At once a summer shower came across the field as if from no where and the ran, smiling all the while, back to the house. Thunder rolled and lightning flashed just where they had been together and a giant bolt struck the very tree they had been beneath moments ago. Katniss seemed to think this was a reflection of the confessions they made to each other, so powerful as if they could shake the world. Peeta kissed her once more and she felt as if she could fly with the joy and longing that filled every fiber of her being in his arms. "You must rest, my love. Tomorrow we will begin with preparations for the wedding. Go now, that we may be together again soon," he said. She shyly reached for one more kiss and then up the stairs to her room, a constant smile on her face. She hardly noticed the glowering Haymitch in the shadows.

Then that night, an enormous crash came from Peeta's room and the animal-like yelling. Katniss rose from her bed and ran to his door. With no thought of her safety she opened the door to see Peeta, like a fierce, wild wolf, breathing heavily and glaring at Haymitch over the shards of a broken vase on the floor. He seemed to be struggling to maintian even the slightest bit of control, jerking his head and gripping the chair with white-knuckled hands. They both looked at her and Haymitch said," Boy, is this what you want for this girl? Doesn't she have a right to know? Tell her!"

Peeta shook his head and seemed to growl. Katniss, although deathly afraid and completely confused knew one thing in the deepest part of herself. She had to go to him. He loved her! She loved him! She wanted to hold him. She stepped toward him, only thinking she wanted to hold him, comfort him in some way. Before she knew what was upon her he lunged at her, his hands around her throat. "Tell _her?!_ Tell this whore, this false girl, this enemy designed to destroy me? All I'll tell her is that I will end her! I will kill her before she kills me!"

Katniss felt his fingers on her throat and the air was leaving her body. She saw Haymitch grab a tool from the fireplace. She closed her eyes, certain that death would come to them both and heard as Haymitch struck Peeta over the head. She felt his heavy body fall on hers as she lay on the floor and blackness washed over her.

When she woke, Peeta was gone. She was in her bed and felt soft bandages on her neck. Kind Portia was leaning over her. "There, child, there. Easy now." Katniss rose, wobbly, but determined. "Where is Peeta? Portia I must see him. I know he is here somewhere!"

Portia seemed in pain, but said calmly, " I will take ye too him."

They climbed the dreaded stairs to the upper regions of the hall. Up those many steps (there seemed to be a thousand) all Katniss could think about was that last night had been some kind of nightmare. But when the door at the top of the stairs opened, she knew her nightmare had just begun.

There he was, shirt ripped to shreds, hair wild as a lions,chained to the wall behind terrible bars. Katniss gasped in disbelief. Haymitch, a flask in his hand and a huge black eye, sat in a chair across from the horrid cage that held her wounded love. "Well, sweetheart," he said, "fancy seeing you here."

Peeta raised his head, his eyes were red, but no longer held the wildness she had seen last night. It seemed as if all the light had left his blue eyes and his soul. He said, coldly, "Katniss, you must go. You must leave this place. I cannot bear to see you and know what I have done to you. I can never marry you."

It was as if an arrow had been shot into her heart. She had opened her heart, against all her self-protection, to this broken man. And now he was sending her away? Now, after they had confessed their love for each other? She felt herself shatter into a thousand pieces. She felt that chord which had connected them snap. She felt herself bleed as if to death. She turned around and went back down the stairs, silently. She heard Peeta curse and yell again. She locked the door. She did not change. She laid back on the bed and did not move for six days. No food, no water, no matter the pleading from Portia, or Cinna, or even Sae. At last she heard Peeta coming down the stairs. She rose, put on her simple, orphanage dress and opened the door. He sat there across the hall, head in his hands. He looked up and and stood to come and embrace her. She stopped him with her small arm as if made of iron.

"Did you mean what you said, sir? That you can never marry me?"

"Sir, again? No Peeta?"

"Answer, please, Sir."

"How can I marry you, when I am taken by such a monster as lies within my skull? What if I hurt you again? What if I killed you?"

"Sir, then I must leave you."

"Wait, not now! Not this minute! I must find you a new position. You cannot leave with no place to go."

Katniss could feel herself fainting from hunger, she felt her knees giving way. She reached to grab the doorway, but Peeta grabbed her instead and lifted her into his arms. He carried her down the hallway and stairs to the study they had shared conversation in so many times before. She felt as if she was being torn in two. She loved him, but he could not love her. He gave her a small glass of port wine, which she accepted. Presently she felt a bit more herself. Small smiles were exchanged.

"Stay. Please," he said. "Portia will bring you something to eat and I will see about finding you a new position." He kissed her hand and held it to his own cheek. She looked into his eyes, but he looked away. He left the room. A moment later Portia arrived with a tray. Katniss did not feel as if she could eat, but knew she had to. The food, lovingly made by Sae, had no flavor for her. She quietly consumed the nutrients, staring blankly into space as she planned her escape. She knew, just as she had known she must go to him before, that she mus leave him now and never let him find her. Haymitch came int the study. He sat down. He looked at her and said, "Girl, I know you're hurtin' right now and nothin much makes sense. But I have to tell you about our Peeta." He told her the story of how after his father died, his mother had sent him to Brazil to see after some "investments". He was stung by a venomous insect, a tracker jacker. He came back to camp delirious, claiming his mother sent him there on purpose, to poison him. Not knowing what was wrong, they had tried to apply compresses and the like, to no avail. The venom seemed to subside after a few days. But when he returned to England, he suffered fits over and over again. His mother, who had never been warm to him, left and went abroad. It seemed he tried to distract himself with all sorts of superficial people, but whenever his mind was triggered by a memory of that trip, he would have another fit. Katniss listened to it all, not knowing what to believe. All she knew was Peeta was sending her away and she felt as if she might die if she stayed too near him.

So before morning, she quietly crept out of Thornfield hall with her few possessions, caught a coach leading who know where and sobbed uncontrollably until the coachman alerted her that her fare would take her no farther. In her haste and delirium, she left her small valise on the coach.

What followed was a sad tale of wandering with no food, no money and no shelter. Lost on her beloved moors, she was sure that she would die of exposure. As she lay on her back, saying prayers to God that she would be reunited with her dear father and mother soon in heaven, she came to know that a man leaned over her. His hair was flaming red and his face was pleasant, but stern. He carried her to his house. His name, she learned later as she recovered was Darius. He was the parish minister in a poor Yorkshire town. As she regained her strength, she asked for work to repay her debt to him, but made an alias to hide her identity from Peeta and Thornfield. She called herself Katherine Gray, instead of Katniss Everdeen. She began to teach school for the farmers' girls. She grew stronger, but often dreamed of her lost love and his wild bewitchment. Restless, she tried to keep herself occupied with teaching and reading. Darius began to teach her Hindi, as he himself was studying the language. One day he came to her and said that he had received a letter from a solicitor in London. The letter was addressed to Katniss Everdeen. She paled as she read the letter as Darius looked on. It appeared that she had a long lost uncle, Plutarch Heavensbee, who had died and left her his entire fortune. It also appeared that Darius was related to her as her second cousin! She was overjoyed to have a family and deeply saddened at the loss of an Uncle she didn't know.

A week later, Darius proposed. At first, Katniss refused, claiming she did not love him. He urged her to reconsider, saying that love would grow and that he admired her strength and intelligence. He wanted her to come with him as a missionary. She could think of nothing more stifling than being in a loveless marriage, having known the height of passion with Peeta, even for the briefest of times. That night she dreamed again of Peeta, he raged in his cage. There was fire all around him. In the dream, Katniss tried to get to him, to save him from the flames, but they both seemed to be consumed by them. She rose screaming from her bed. She raced to the window, called his name and heard nothing. A few months later, as she was walking among the moors, she heard his voice call her and she cried aloud for him to wait. She sped as fast as she could back to Thornfield. So now, as we began this tale, let us continue.

As she approached the stately hall she felt her heart beat faster, as if she would see him now just coming around the garden wall. But as she got closer, alas, she saw what was the hall was now ruined. A fire had gutted it and now all that stood was the shell. Still, she went closer. As she almost entered, she saw Haymitch in an archway, picking up rubble and placing it into piles. He stopped for a swig at his ever present flask. She smiled to herself and the gruff, but lovingly loyal man and called to him. He turned; "Sweetheart! I never thought I should see the day that you would return here." She held his hands, "please Haymitch, tell me where he is. He's not dead is he?"

Haymitch turned to the wall. He thinks he may as well be. He lives in Ferndean, an old hunting lodge of his father's. Only Portia and Cinna are with him now. His fits have gone, but he is wounded in his body and his soul."

"What happened?" Katniss asked, fearful of the answer.

"It were a fire, Katniss. After you left, he seemed to go mad every day, instead of just his fits. One night he escaped from his chains and knocked over a lamp and the whole place went up. He had dismissed most of the servants. He had sent Prim away to school. Only Sae and I were left. I usually was up there with him, but for some reason that night I was downstairs with Sae. I tried to get up there to get him. As I saw him coming down the stairs I called to him, but the stairs gave way and he fell. When he was pulled from the ashes, he was alive, but one timber had fell across his face, blinding him and another across his leg. They...they had to take it off below the knee. He is now blind and a cripple, but no longer subject to that madness that used to plagued him."

As Katniss heard the tale, she felt as sure as anything that his spirit was close to giving up, and she could not let that happen. She asked Haymitch to take her to him and he did. As they entered the house, Portia nearly called out to Mr. Mellark, but Katniss begged her to let her go to Peeta unannounced. Portia gave her the tray with his candle and water and into the den of the lion Katniss went. What she saw nearly broke her heart. He sat in a large chair before a low fire. A cane rested near his left leg from which a wooden prosthesis extended beyond his trousers. His hair and beard were matted and unkempt and his broad shoulders sagged. There was a large scar from his forehead to his left cheek. His right hand was bandaged heavily. He raised his sightless eyes, once brilliant, now clouded.

"Do you have my candle, Portia? Just because I'm blind doesn't men I don't need it." Katniss was silent. She could not find the words to say what she felt at being so near him again. She crept nearer. "Who's there?" demanded the lion, sternly. Katniss nearly spilled the water from her shaking hands as he drank. "Dammit! Who is it?"

"Portia is in the kitchen, sir." He gasped and grabbed for her hand. Catching it he felt each finger, "I know this hand. This is Katniss Everdeen's hand! Her very fingers!" He embraced her and she melted in his arms.

"I've come back to you Peeta." He held her tighter, then broke away a bit. "Are you real? I've dreamed of you often and in the morning you were gone. Will you stay? Or fly away, like your fairy sisters? Say you're real, fairy, even if you must fly away."

"Real, Peeta. I am real." and she kissed him strongly on his lips. "Does that feel real?" He returned the kiss and smiled, sadly, almost at the brink of tears.

"But how? I looked for you everywhere? How are you not in some ditch, destitute?"

"I'm a woman of means now, Peeta. My uncle died and left me wealthy."

"Now I know you are real. I could never have imagined such details." They laughed softly together. Suddenly his smile fell and sank into his chair again. "Ah, Katniss, you cannot be but revolted by me. I am a mere shell of the man I was once."

Katniss took his hand and kissed it gently. "I am sorry for this," she said. "And this," as she kissed his brow. "And this," as she kissed his sightless eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek and she kissed it away too. "And the worst part is one is in danger of spoiling you too much." He chuckled. She looked at him again and decided to stop teasing him. "Peeta I ran from you once, a frightened and confused child. I have come back to you as my own woman, through trials and tribulations of my own. I would cross oceans if needed to get back to you. We had a chord of connection. I will never let that chord break again. I heard your call and I answered it. I am here. I am real. I am yours. Forever."

At once it was as if the light returned to his face, if not his eyes. "You heard me? When?"

"Four nights ago. Across the moors. Did you hear me answer?"

"God save me, I did! Did you answer, 'I am coming. Wait for me?'"

Katniss nodded, words caught in silent sobs. She rested her head on his powerful chest. He rested his cheek on her hair. They held each other, in awe of what they had just rediscovered. After a while, Peeta spoke first.

"Katniss Everdeen, I asked you once before. I shall ask you again. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said. "I shall never leave you again."


	2. Chapter 2

This story continues, although it is just as surprising to me as to anyone else! I own nothing. I owe everything to this beloved community which inspires and supports my meager efforts at writing, tolerates and is even amused by my sassy comments on tumblr and generally keeps me in touch with popular culture. In particular, I would like to thank wolloston(alonglineofbread), HGRomance (andshewaits), Dandelionsunset, Manniness, BadOldWestern, Ro Norman...oh God the list could go on and on...you are all precious to me.

Peeta awoke early. No matter to him if the sun had risen yet or not, he immediately asked for Katniss. His dreams from the night before were terrifying replays of the night she left Thornfield and his fears of her demise thereafter. Although they had spent all day many days and many nights at Ferdean in each others' arms, he had insisted that night they should be in separate bedrooms. They were finally to be wed and he would be damned if he would incur any old wives' tales bad luck by spending that particular night together. But now he had to know she was there again, feel her warmth, smell the fresh scent of her skin and hair.

He was still in his bed, nervous as a cat when she walked in. Her heart warmed to see him this way, although she knew it wicked to tease him.

"Mr. Mellark, you should have slept longer today. There will be much to do and we may be feasting well into the night in celebration. I hope I will not find you snoring at the table later?"

He smiled broadly at her, "Miss Everdeen, you underestimate my fortitude! Come beside me, my Delilah, so I may give you a sample of my strength, blind Samson that I am. " And he grabbed her small waist and threw her on the bed next to him. Katniss had observed his great strength when they had been at Thornfield (she often marveled at his physique as he helped with all manner of physical tasks on the grounds), but his actions here caught her by surprise. What a pleasant surprise it was! Moreso when he leaned over her, brought his face close to hers, finding her wrists and capturing them above her head in his one large hand. She protested slightly, making some pale references to duties...but she did not complain too loudly or too long. Since she had returned, his kisses were like the force of life itself. Sometimes sweet and gentle as hummingbird wings, sometimes fiery and consuming, calling forth such passion in her core that she felt she could deny him nothing of herself. This morning his kiss was slow and sweet as a cupful of nectar on her lips, warming the blood in her veins, she was all honey and laughter. He brought his other hand to her honey lips and traced them, kissing sweetly down her jaw to her earlobe, her neck. He found the single, insignificant string holding her nightshift closed and began to pull it, oh so slowly. Then gently, but strongly he carressed her bosom. While his eyes could not see her yet, his fingers seemed inspired in their ability to illicit delicious moans from her.

She did however, have one raiment of sanity left and knew if she went much farthr on this particular path with him, they would never be married! She wriggled out of his steel vice-grip, brought her hands to his face and kissed with many, dear kisses in defense. "You must stop now my love, or I shall be lost and never married to you!" she exclaimed. Reluctantly, but with a small smile, he released her.

"I release you, charming fairy, on the promise that once we are actually wed you spend no less than one week with me in our bed!" At this she laughed outright, thinking naughtily to herself that the lovemaking she expected from him on their wedding night would probably incapacitate her for at least that much time. But she only said, "When we are actually wed, dear Peeta, no one will be able to separate us, ever."

At that thought, his grin practically split his face. She asked if he was hungry for breakfast. "Famished," he said. She called to Portia for the meal. They enjoyed a small breakfast together and then it was off to their mutual grooming sessions: Peeta at the mercy of Cinna and Haymitch; Katniss with Primrose and Portia.

Peeta said, "Cinna! You must work miracles and turn this Vulcan into Adonis for my beloved Katniss. I wish this day to be nothing but joyous for her. Good God, I am as nervous as...as...as a bridgegroom!" The three men chuckled.

"Boy," Haymitch barked, "that girl loves you so much you could dress in a flour sack and she'd still be happy. Relax! Once the church part is over, we'll have ourselves a feast to remember. Sae's been at it for days. Wants every crumb to be the best a body's ever had."

But Cinna said quietly, "Mr. Mellark, your true love shines through your eyes and every part of you. That love, plus the small improvements to your suit that i made, will make her know how good your life will be together. You are both truly good people and God must bless this union of yours, so long in coming."

Peeta was thankful for his loyal servant's thoughtful words. "Well, let's get on with the scrubbing and polishing then!"

Meanwhile, Katniss was trying not to roll her eyes at the twittering of Primrose as she brushed Katniss' hair for what seemed like the three hundredth stroke. What followed was intricate braiding by Prim and Portia, weaving green ribbons in and out of Katniss deep chestnut locks. When they were done, Katniss had to marvel at the woman who looked back at her from the mirror. Smoothe and shining, her hair made it impossible not to smile. Her smile made it impossible to mistake this day for any other. It was her wedding day. She was about to change her life forever. She was finally to be joined with her other half, her twin, her soulmate. She could hardly contain the joy that bubbled within her. It hadn't really seemed real until this moment. When Portia brought in her dress, Katniss almost wept. She had picked a simple white linen and lace, but Portia had ingeniously woven the same rich green color throughout with ribbon and small birds sewn to the fabric. She put it on and turned again to the mirror. She took in a deep breath and realized she felt truly beautiful for the second time in her life. The lace about her shoulders, with a low neckline and small waist complimented her slight figure and lovely olive toned skin. Prim had applied just the slightest amout of rouge and kohl, to make her eyes sparkle and her lips look inviting. She felt a bit sad that Peeta could not see how pretty she looked, but Portia said "Miss Katniss, Mr. Mellark will be able to tell how lovely you are by what comes from you soul and your voice. Although his eyes are darkened, his heart is fully open to you." Katniss held Portia's hands and tried to convey her thanks in what words could not express. She looked to Prim, who was almost weeping with joy and they embraced. Katniss new these dear friends had taught her as much about love as any other person.

There was a light knock at the door. Darius' sister, Madge, poked her head in. Katniss was truly glad to see her. Madge, although sometimes reserved, was fully supportive of Katniss' marriage. Darius had, in just the few weeks since Katniss had left their home on the moors, summoned his courage and asked for the hand of Livina, a sweet quiet daughter of a wealthy nearby landlord. Darius had loved her long, but denied himself the relationship as he felt his destiny was in missionary work. When Katniss left, Madge had writtena letter and explained that it was as if a switch had gone off in Darius' head and heart. He decided greatness was not necesarily the true showing of devotion to God; that there were plenty of poor souls here in England who needed his help. Livinia surprisingly convinced her father to a small wedding. Darius and she were currently on a tour of good works to the poor in various parishes. Remarkably, Livinia showed great joy in working with poor children and Darius was surprised by her quiet strength, given her priviledged upbrining. Madge had credited this transformation of her brother from knowing Katniss. She had said Katniss' firy spirit had made him realize that God's plan was not to make grandiose acclaim for Darius, but to have him do good and humble works. And now Madge was here, to give her family's blessing to the union between katniss and Peeta. Madge said, "Who would have believed that the half dead creature my brother carried from the moors would stand before me as the most serene bride-to-be? When you came to us you did not even know your name! You seemed so full of pain and secrets then, but now you are full of promise and grace"

Katniss reflected briefly on the long journey that had led her to this day; of what she and Peeta had suffered to come back together. She looked at Madge and said, "It is by the grace of God and the love of good friends such as you all here with me today that I have learned to love again. My heart's desire awaits me and I am so grateful to have realized that anything that kept Peeta and I apart was really only in my own battered heart. Once I opened my heart to hear the small voice within me that would not go away, the walls I had built around my poor heart seemed to be made of the flimsiest stuff! Love in all its forms called to me when I heard Peeta's voice on the moors. It was God's love that called to me too. I believe God wants for us what will bring us to our highest and best self. To deny my love for Petta Mellark was to deny God."

"Well, let us not delay! Let us not keep God or Peeta waiting!" exclaimed Prim.

"Indeed," said Madge, "but I have one small thing to make you tarry just a minute or two. I would be so honored and pleased if youwould wear this pin on this day of love." She held a simple gold pin - a circle of gold with a bird in flight within it. "It was my aunt's. She, like you was a person who passionately believed in freedom and love. Take it Katniss, and keep it and remember me." Katniss took the pin and tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"It's beautiflu Madge. Once I would have said I don't deserve such a gift. But it will give me great pleasure to wear it and remember you, my dear friend. It will remind me to always keep room in my heart for love."

And so the ladies came downstairs. Sae was at the bottom, her smile wide and her eyes sparkling. "Don't ye look as beautiful as meadow on a sunny day, Miss! I'll warrant Mister Peeta is waitin' in chapel, about wearin' out carpet with pacin' back an' forth! As jumpy as a cat he were, when last I saw him. Haymitch had to promise ye were truly still here at least three times on their way to chapel."

"Oh, my poor silly man!" Katniss exclaimed. "We'd best hurry over and rescue him from his deamons!"

A/N - Ok, so it's kind of mean to end this chapter without the big wedding scene, but there you have it. I have no idea when I'll be able to udate, but hopefully it will be soon. (Bulk trash collection next week means lots of heavy lifting for Mr. and Mrs. Jane and little Jane. Maybe even Leo the dog and Charlotta the cat!) Of course your reviews are most welcome. I thank everyone who has done me the courtesy of reading this story. Reviews and follows and unbelieveable favorties are like Miracle Gro for little fics.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Nineteen years ago I married my beautiful, infuriating, funny, intriguing husband. Although he does not share my enthusiasm for this fantasy world, he does like me to be happy and so he tolerates my hours spent here. If he ever read any of this, I might dedicate it to him. Since he doesn't, I dedicate this to you, dear reader._

It was a somewhat cloudy morning in August. Warm and windy, the smell of heather was in the Yorkshire air. Prim was gathering flowers for Katniss' tussie-mussie, each flower having a special meaning. There were small sunflowers for adoration, heather for protection, roses of all colors signifying the many sides of love, a primrose for her namesake and blessing, deep, purple heliotrope for devotion, white phlox for "our souls are united", and even little dandelions (Katniss' favorite) for faithfulness. Prim brought the flowers in to make the bouquet. she took great care, thinking of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert and how she hoped that Katniss and Peeta's wedding could be just as special. Everyone in the household must have felt the same, as they all had been busy with preparations for weeks. Her guardian, Peeta had found his soulmate in Katniss. Prim sighed at the romance of it all as she wrapped a lovely green and white ribbon around the stems of the bouquet. She was so happy for them both. She loved them both more than anyone. A while later she gave them to Katniss as she went out the door. Katniss and her entourage would have a short walk to the chapel where the guests and Peeta and the gentlemen waited.

Katniss felt almost serene. She had been contemplating how very lucky she was to have such happiness before her. In other days she would have doubted such happiness. But today she knew, beyond any doubt, that her union with Peeta was the highest and best purpose of her life. Never had she been so certain of anything as she was about how their soon-to-be union was the beginning of a life that would help make the world a better place, even if it was only a small, Northern English corner of the world. Sae had told her how nervous Peeta was, so she tried her best to quicken her pace, holding her veil and dress against the wild Yorkshire wind that had seemed to spring up out of nowhere.

As Katniss rushed toward the chapel, inside Peeta felt as if an age had gone by since they had last been in each other's company. It was just past one in the afternoon, but he felt as if it were midnight. It was midnight for his unseeing eyes, but his heart was full of warmth, remembering how he had caressed her just this morning. The intensity of her love was palpable. Her body reacted to his touch almost instantaneously. Part of him was so sure of her love, yet part of him (that part of him which had existed in an almost constant state of self-loathing and lonely misery for the long months they had been separated) questioned why this fresh, wild flower would want to grow so near a ruined tree such as himself. With a furrowed brow he silently questioned whether she did pity him instead of truly want him as a husband.

Haymitch watched Peeta and guessed his doubts. He had watched him torture himself for years: all through the torment from the tracker jacker venom, through the painful recovery from his wounds sustained in the fire at Thornfield Hall, and now, when his true love was almost completely his, Haymitch observed Peeta's countenance cloud over with doubt. He understood that Peeta had always doubted himself, having had little support from his family his entire life. Indeed, his mother was not amongst the guest list nor had she deigned to even acknowledge the wedding. His brother, Rye, was in the Caribbean, but at least had sent his best wishes, along with some very fine rum, which Haymitch looked forward to sampling at the feast. His other brother, Graham, was making his fortune with his own young family in America, but had sent Peeta an intricately carved cane, which Peeta leaned upon now. Haymitch could see that Peeta missed having his brothers with him, but the man who had appeared to stand up for him was a total surprise.

Gale Hawthorne had been a young man Peeta had known at school who had traveled with him to South America. Gale had not suffered the venomous insect sting that had driven Peeta nearly mad, but had suffered another kind of wound. Gale had been of humble birth and had been promised much by Peeta's father, for whom he had begun to act as legal advisor. After Peeta's father's death, Peeta's mother had refused to honor Gale's employment contract and Gale had lost much monetarily. Desperate to care for his own family, he invested what little savings he had with Alma Coin, an unscrupulous woman who Gale seemed to have misplaced loyalty in. Coin had convinced many small investors to give to her cause for a plantation known as Thirteen Oaks, which later proved to be a total sham. Coin escaped to the orient with the funds, never to be heard from again. Broken and ashamed, Gale took a miserable position as a clerk in a London factory. When Peeta found out about Gale's misfortune, he insisted Gale be redeemed and found him a position traveling with him to South America. In Peeta, Gale found a loyal friend, who cared not for his lineage, but only for his talents. Gale had shown skill at negotiations, which he said he owed to bartering the spoils of his hunting talents as a young boy. For his part, Peeta admired Gale's strength and determination, as well as his ability to charm the dusky local beauties. Underneath the bravado, Peeta sensed that Gale suffered the same loneliness as he, the same desire to do good in the world to make up for wrongs committed by others. When Peeta was brought back from camp, raving from tracker jacker venom, it was Gale who stepped into leadership role. He sent word to Peeta's family, saw him safely home to England, and returned to protect Peeta's investments.

So, when Peeta received Gale's usually precise statements from the South American holdings, he naturally let his loyal friend know of his great joy in finding Katniss and of their impending nuptials. Gale caught the next ship home and now the two stood together. Gale having just arrived the week before, Peeta had immediately sent him on the most important mission to acquire Katniss' wedding ring. Presently, Peeta leaned to Gale and asked if he had the ring. Gale chuckled, "For the fourth time, Peet, it's right here in my waistcoat pocket! Good lord, man, calm yourself! You'll explode before your bride arrives!"

"But Gale, I am a veritable bundle of nerves! My Katniss is about to marry me! Wretched creature that I am, it is too good to true, too happy to not be a dream. Since I have lost my sight I sometimes become confused between reality and fantasy. And my Fairie Queen is so bewitching, who can blame me?"

"She is a jewel, that's for sure. I am glad you have found happiness, my friend. Your love for one another seems very real to me." Gale paused, wondering briefly if he would ever find the same joy. As if he read his companion's thoughts, Peeta reached for him. "Don't worry, she's out there somewhere. You are too good a man to not find a good woman."

"Don't fret about me, my friend. Today is your day for happiness. And might I say, you are looking every bit the fashionable gentleman. Any woman worth her salt would be proud to stand at your side. I know I am."

Peeta sighed, "I would give my Fairie Queen the world, but she will only have the simplest pleasures, you know. She delights in telling me no to my offers of jewels and silks. She claims that outward appearance is of no matter, but the beauty within is what is important. I think it is just that she has never been allowed to have nice things and that is why she disdains them. Still, I never can tell what will delight her. Just yesterday, she became all giddy as we strolled amongst the gardens together. She spied a patch of dandelions and ran to pick them. She said, can you imagine this, Gale, that they reminded her of me! She said they reminded her that life can be good again even after much hardship, as finding me again has allowed her to really love. I tell you Gale, she takes my breath away." At this he leaned on his cane and shook his head, almost coming to tears. Gale patted his shoulder.

The door to the chapel opened and every head turned toward the sound. Gale moved Peeta over slightly so that he was facing Katniss as she entered. Katniss stopped and gazed at Peeta. She felt her heart soar to even greater heights. How handsome he looked! He wore a blue coat and a brown silk vest. His hair shone in the light from the church windows, rich and golden. His one eye, although clouded still gleamed with a blue intensity that made her quake. It was as if his scarred brow even made him more handsome to her, the cost he bore to be fully in her love. In his button hole was one white rose, full blown and a small dandelion beside it.

The ladies gathered at the end of the aisle. Then they proceeded, Prim first, spreading petals from a basket before her. Then Madge, who shyly looked at Gale as she walked. Then Katniss, whose dress was so beautifully elegant, yet simple, with green ribbons about the waist and hem and small green birds throughout. Madge's pin clasped at her bosom held three roses and her own dandelion. Peeta asked Gale what he saw. Gale could only say, "Beauty. Pure and Elegant." Peeta smiled. As Katniss drew nearer, the light from the windows caught her pin and Peeta saw the gleam of it and for one moment thought he could even see her dress. He gasped and reached for her. She took his hand and they stood side by side, together, entering the life they each knew they had always been meant to live. As they exchanged their vows, they faced one another and Katniss and Peeta each were shedding gentle tears of joy. At the appointed time the rings were exchanged, hers with leaves of the forest delicately etched in its golden surface. His was wide and solid as his constancy in love. Before they realized it, Reverend Undersee was saying "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Before he could say another word, Peeta grabbed Katniss about the waist and crushed his lips to hers, embracing her as if she was life itself.

They turned and walked back down the aisle to the great cheering and applause of those gathered. As they left the church, the sun shone brightly and it was as if the whole world had been reborn.

**Notes: **feasting, toasting, music and all manner of interesting interactions ahead. Stay tuned and please continue to feed this little fic with reviews. Thanks to all who enjoy it and share their honest opinions.


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